When I Was Sinking Down: Lent Daybook 28
Look: Christ Walking on the Water (Calling of Saint Peter), Philipp Otto Runge (Photo: Elke Walford) - Source
Listen: What Wondrous Love Is This, Fernando Ortega - Lyrics | Spotify | YouTube
Read: Psalm 97, 99; Psalm 94-95; Jeremiah 17:19-27; Romans 7:13-25; John 6:16-27
Excerpts:
“The Lord reigns, let the earth rejoice; let the many coastlands be glad! Clouds and thick darkness are all around him; righteousness and justice are the foundation of his throne. Fire goes before him and burns up his adversaries all around. His lightnings light up the world; the earth sees and trembles. The mountains melt like wax before the Lord, before the Lord of all the earth.
The heavens proclaim his righteousness, and all the peoples see his glory.”
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“The Lord reigns; let the peoples tremble! He sits enthroned upon the cherubim; let the earth quake! The Lord is great in Zion; he is exalted over all the peoples. Let them praise your great and awesome name! Holy is he! The King in his might loves justice. You have established equity; you have executed justice and righteousness in Jacob. Exalt the Lord our God; worship at his footstool! Holy is he!
Moses and Aaron were among his priests, Samuel also was among those who called upon his name. They called to the Lord, and he answered them. In the pillar of the cloud he spoke to them; they kept his testimonies and the statute that he gave them.
O Lord our God, you answered them; you were a forgiving God to them, but an avenger of their wrongdoings. Exalt the Lord our God, and worship at his holy mountain; for the Lord our God is holy!”
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“Understand, O dullest of the people! Fools, when will you be wise? He who planted the ear, does he not hear? He who formed the eye, does he not see? He who disciplines the nations, does he not rebuke? He who teaches man knowledge— the Lord—knows the thoughts of man, that they are but a breath.
Blessed is the man whom you discipline, O Lord, and whom you teach out of your law, to give him rest from days of trouble, until a pit is dug for the wicked. For the Lord will not forsake his people; he will not abandon his heritage; for justice will return to the righteous, and all the upright in heart will follow it.
Who rises up for me against the wicked? Who stands up for me against evildoers? If the Lord had not been my help, my soul would soon have lived in the land of silence. When I thought, ‘My foot slips,’ your steadfast love, O Lord, held me up. When the cares of my heart are many, your consolations cheer my soul.”
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“Thus said the Lord to me: ‘Go and stand in the People's Gate, by which the kings of Judah enter and by which they go out, and in all the gates of Jerusalem, and say: ‘Hear the word of the Lord, you kings of Judah, and all Judah, and all the inhabitants of Jerusalem, who enter by these gates. Thus says the Lord: Take care for the sake of your lives, and do not bear a burden on the Sabbath day or bring it in by the gates of Jerusalem. And do not carry a burden out of your houses on the Sabbath or do any work, but keep the Sabbath day holy, as I commanded your fathers. Yet they did not listen or incline their ear, but stiffened their neck, that they might not hear and receive instruction.’”
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“Did that which is good, then, bring death to me? By no means! It was sin, producing death in me through what is good, in order that sin might be shown to be sin, and through the commandment might become sinful beyond measure.
… So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin.”
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“When evening came, his disciples went down to the sea, got into a boat, and started across the sea to Capernaum. It was now dark, and Jesus had not yet come to them. The sea became rough because a strong wind was blowing. When they had rowed about three or four miles, they saw Jesus walking on the sea and coming near the boat, and they were frightened. But he said to them, ‘It is I; do not be afraid.’ Then they were glad to take him into the boat, and immediately the boat was at the land to which they were going.
On the next day the crowd that remained on the other side of the sea saw that there had been only one boat there, and that Jesus had not entered the boat with his disciples, but that his disciples had gone away alone. Other boats from Tiberias came near the place where they had eaten the bread after the Lord had given thanks. So when the crowd saw that Jesus was not there, nor his disciples, they themselves got into the boats and went to Capernaum, seeking Jesus.
When they found him on the other side of the sea, they said to him, ‘Rabbi, when did you come here?’ Jesus answered them, ‘Truly, truly, I say to you, you are seeking me, not because you saw signs, but because you ate your fill of the loaves. Do not work for the food that perishes, but for the food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give to you. For on him God the Father has set his seal.’”
- Psalm 97:1-6 * Psalm 99 * Psalm 94:8-19 * Jeremiah 17:19-23 * Romans 7:13, 21-25 * John 6:16-27 (ESV)
Pray: Prayer for honesty about my depression
Knowing that God loves me unconditionally, I can afford to be honest about how I am. How has the last day been, and how do I feel now? I share my feelings openly with the Lord. (Sacred Space for Lent)
Do: Spend some time journaling in response to today’s meditation.
Let this be a place you share your honest thoughts and feelings with God. Speak plainly and without qualification.
Lament in Week 4: Asking questions of complaint and petition to help articulate depression
Depression as a stage of grief: “Whereas anger and bargaining can feel very “active,” depression may feel like a “quiet” stage of grief. … It can feel overwhelming. You may feel foggy, heavy, and confused.”
This stage is marked by a sense of despair or having arrived at the end of grief with nowhere else to turn. It can sound like questions that have no answers.
What questions have you been carrying this year or for many years that feel unheard, misunderstood, or rejected by God or others? Make a list in your journal and consider sharing it with your trusted friends or a spiritual director.
Asking questions as the language of lament: “A friend called attention to the fact that the book asks lots of questions, dozens and dozens of them. He quoted a passage that he interpreted as explaining all the questions: “I am not angry [at God] but baffled and hurt. My wound is an unanswered question. The wounds of all humanity are an unanswered question. … It was not anger I felt but hurt — hurt and bafflement. How could I fit together my son’s untimely death with the God I worshiped?” (Nicholas Wolterstorff, Lament For A Son)
What would you add to your list if you considered the unanswered questions represented in the “wounds of all humanity”?
Invite a few trusted friends to share what they’d add and allow the prayer to reflect the sadness of your community. As you receive the laments of your friends and share your own, consider ways you might walk with one another through laments without feeling the need to offer immediate practical solutions. Let the prayer bear the weight of the lament.
If considering the laments of others feels overwhelming, don’t do it. Just notice this reality and trust Jesus to be with you and with all the world as you retrieve the language of lament.
