LOUD :: Five-Minute Friday
A rare, treasured moment of un-quiet during the past few months
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LOUD
For someone who spends her life inviting people into the goodness of silence, I've lived a loud life. I try to explain this to people when I feel funny about moving away from the crowd or holing up in my bedroom for a few hours of alone time. I wish I had a card to pass out every time I'm feeling judged.
The card would read:
Tamara Murphy
oldest daughter of six
mother of four children who were at one time all ages six and under
wife of an extraordinarily energetic man
pastor's daughter turned pastor's wife
occasional city dweller
Give me a pass on any more noise, please!
I've literally been surrounded by people, mostly large groups of highly verbose people, my entire life. Sometimes I wish I could remember the short time after I was first born and my parents lived a tiny village in the Adirondack Mountains in the small cabin of a house they named "The Sugar Shack". (We don't ask them to explain that moniker. They claim it has something to do with maple sugar in the surrounding trees.)
Since then, though it's been a life surrounded by people. I'm not complaining. I can't imagine a solitary life, no matter how often I'm tempted to sentimentalize that kind of existence.
The closest I've ever come is during this god-awful pandemic. If it weren't for the fact that real people are sick and dying and other people are having to work non-stop to prevent more sickness and death, I could get a bit used to this slower, quieter pace.
It's been during these months, I've been able to better understand that not all noise originates outside of us. My head and heart are full of noise and without the distraction of the normal schedule, I've begun to understand better than ever that quiet is not necessarily the result of solitude. Some of the noisiest moments I live are when I'm all by myself - alone with my thoughts, fears, doubts, anger, questions, and unmet desires.
To live with a quiet heart in the midst of a loud world is no small task. It may be the best gift we could hope for during a season that seems to be only taking and never giving.
May it be so for me and for all of us, friends.
This was our final Five-Minute Friday post in 2020. I'm planning to bring the series back in 2021 modified to share chapters for an e-book. Stay tuned for a preview in December!
Thanks for being a listening community and a safe place to offer stories from my everyday experiences and epiphanies. I'm grateful for your companionship.
p.s., You can read all the Five-Minute Friday posts here.